hope, my hope

it is so weird that i love looking through the window so much. i, myself do not really know why, maybe it was just a manifestation of my lonely feeling. embraced by loneliness, filled with emptiness, and the darkest darkness awaits me in front of my door. when i realized then opened my eyes, awaken from the deep sleep that God has blessed me with, too many things i've destroyed and poisoned, including my life, and yours maybe? for the first time in these past few years, i redeem my faith with a true prayer, try not to be a betrayer of my companions, who shall walk beside me for these years. my hope, my deepest wish for now is to become such a good friend to you guys. i know sometimes i'm a bit melancholic, so different when we first met and know me. again, i feel so helpless, i do realized that i'm a human, with such limited capabilities and so many weaknesses. i'm still hoping that my wishes would come true, not to let me became a hypocrite, because that is the last thing i want to be. by this scratchy handwriting, for the time being, i still hoping that someday i would be lucky enough, not to be a hypocrite, but to be true, because that is my ultimate goal for now. beside of being a melancholy, which only a very few persons in my life realized that. that tiny percentage of families and friends that i appreciated so much, even with my life.